Archive for September, 2010

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Stillness.

September 16, 2010

OK! So it’s been a while since there was any activity around here. Not just here, in all aspects of my creative writing outlety zoneness. Granted, it’s been a busy summer. A productive summer? Not as much as I’d like. A fun, frivilous, music filled, frenetic, freaky, fantabulous summer? Hells yeah. It’s been busy and bustlin (at some moments literally) to the extent that the idea of slowing down, taking it easy and staying in one place for longer than a couple of weeks has more appeal than I expected. And less, at the same time. Go figure, Trish, wanting to run away to somewhere.

And I honestly was about to. All those names and places and things and people are waiting for me to show up!! They don’t even know it yet! It’s the deciding where to go first that I’ve been having some trouble with. And I’m starting to suspect the reason I haven’t been able to, is because none of them are the right place, just this second.

I think I’m on the verge of travelling to escape, and that’s the worst reason, for me, to go somewhere. I want to explore the world, be in it at all times. Be at ease with me being in it at all times.

Being scattered within my own head won’t help that. Time for some grounding, methinks.  And more writing.

Tomorrow I take a series of tests that will indicate whether or not I’ll be accepted into a trades program in January. If that’s the case, there’s 4 months I’ll be in Vancouver 5 days a week. Everything in me is screaming for self sabotage. Put the test off until it’s a guarantee that the course will be full and then go travelling, since there’s nothing else on the go.  But I don’t think it’s right. I’ve got to sleep now, but I’ll certainly mull over this in writing a whole lot more over the coming days. This feels like a particularly uninspired and hypocritical posting mostly because I don’t feel like I said anything terribly interesting and spent most of inbetween typing sentences surfing websites about jane goodall’s activity in tanzania, websites of female travel writers, their stories, all the while wondering why I’m sitting here looking at this stuff and not living it yet.

Patience grasshopper. How about spending more than 3 nights in your apartment since May? How about making a list of all the things that you’d like to see happen and then deciding what order they should happen in? How about research that is a little more tangible than wanting to be where the air smells of spice, and animals bay in the background and the wind carries music unfamiliar and the garments of the locals are a swirl of vibrancy, color and texture.

I could have just described Dune for all anyone knows. Yes, I’m going offworld to chill with Fremen and ride me some sandworms before my eyes give themselves over to the opaque blue that results from overindulgence of spice!

Ok, a little grounding, some specifics and some time to sit and contemplate those things. And yes, more than 3 nights in my apartment since May.

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